Working with Angry Students: Do's and Don'ts
The Do's
- Do listen through the anger.
- Do prevent total frustration by acknowledging the feelings of the individual.
- Do rephrase what is being said in an attempt to identify the issue(s) at the heart of the situation.
- Do allow the person to vent and tell you what is upsetting him or her. Use silence to allow the individual to talk it out.
- Do maintain eye contact.
- Do set limits. Explain clearly and directly what behaviors are acceptable. For example, "I will be willing to speak with you as soon as you lower your voice and sit down."
- Do be firm, steady, consistent, and honest.
- Do empower the individual by helping him or her problem-solve.
- Do feel free to postpone dealing with the situation by setting another, mutually agreeable time to discuss it. Meeting on the same day is preferred. Be punctual.
- Do, whenever possible, separate the person from the situation that is causing the problem before attempting to reach a resolution.
- Do focus on what you can do to resolve the situation.
The
Don'ts
- Don't interrupt, particularly during the first 20-30 seconds of peak anger. Interrupting will likely prolong the outburst.
- Don't minimize the situation.
- Don't get into an argument or shouting match.
- Don't press for explanations for the disruptive behavior.
- Don't become hostile or punitive.
- Don't demand, command, or order.
- Don't blame, ridicule, or use sarcasm.
- Don't be cute or humorous.
- Don't touch.
- Don't make things more complicated.
- Don't take responsibility for the emotional state of the individual.
- Don't ignore warning signs that the person is about to explode. These include changes in physical demeanor such as visible tensing of the body, assuming an aggressive stance, clenching fists, gritting teeth, etc.
- Don't ignore your own limitations.
Do's and Don'ts taken from "Guidelines for Dealing with Disruptive and/or Emotionally Distressed Individuals." University of Colorado at Boulder.
Further information regarding disruptive or emotionally distressed individuals can be found at the following University of Colorado website: